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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Changes....

Please, humor me if I am a bit wordy in this post.....I feel the need to explain {through the tears} a bit of the struggle of late.

I don't like change.  I know this about me.  I lived all my wonderful, happy childhood in the same house....until the age of 24.  During my college years, I tried for almost a year to live at school, but even though I was only 15 minutes away....I wanted to go home.  Every Saturday night, I looked forward to watching old musicals on TV and studying.

I lived at home with my mom and dad...older sister and brother....my little brother....and my grandfather { who was dying}.  I loved every minute of it.  I am old skool.....I went from my parent's house to married life and my own home....I have lived here for 26 years.

My sister, who is 6 years older, has always been my best friend.  I wanted to be her as a little girl....I wanted to be with her everywhere she went.  She married when I was in High School and traveled all over the country with her Air Force husband.  I missed her every single day.  

I don't like change.

My life changed about 2 months ago.  My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had surgery.  I was with her in the hospital every single day.  My sister and I took her home and lived with her for 3 weeks.  
She died last week.  And now I am forced to live with the change.

There is so much to say about the struggle of the last 2 months, but I will never regret taking her home and living with her. 

I know this is a quilting blog {and I have some of that for you} but I have to thank every one of my bloggy friends for all your emails and prayers.  Even though I have not been good about replying to comments...please know I have appreciated each and every one.

Most of you know that I have 3 wonderful girls.  They were all born within a 4 year span.  My girls have been best friends to each other.  And fantastic daughters to Mike and me.
Well, my sweet Molly has moved to her own apartment. 
Change.
I am so happy for her ...and it has been sweet to see the excitement of setting up your own place mixed in with the grief of all that has been happening.  Life goes on as it should.


my finished pyramid quilt....just the binding to go....my mom's old skyway luggage :)

I began this quilt a while ago.  At this point I don't even remember when.  It was inspired by an Anthropologie quilt. 


I only have the binding to complete. This one is hand quilted with wool Aurifil thread....Essex linen on the back....


I began the Point Me quilt while at my mom's house.  This is one of Denyse Schmidt's new patterns. 

I don't know if it was me and the lack of sleep or the pattern, but I had a very difficult time getting this arrow of triangles pieced together with pointy points and clean edges....



So I decided to piece it in a different way.  Rather that piecing horizontal rows, I chose to piece the next one on the diagonal.....
Since I had already cut all those little triangles...I pieced a patterned triangle to a white triangle along the long straight of grain edge...creating a half square triangle.


Then I pieced my squares together.....adding a single patterned triangle as the last piece in each row.  

  

Each row is one half square triangle smaller than the row before it.  Then I simply pieced the rows together on the diagonal -  matching the seams.  


For me, this was a much easier way to piece the 'arrow' and get more pointy points where they should be....
A change I can embrace....hee hee!
hugs,
mary

85 comments:

elsy said...

really sorry to hear about your mum mary....awfully hard to deal with as i know whatever your age and stage in life. but you did the right thing staying with her and you have that and your memories to carry you forward x

Mary said...

I'm really sorry about your mom. I'm sure none of us expected a reply. I remember when my first baby left for college. All I can say is it really does get better with time. It begins to be the new normal.

Taryn said...

I want to add my sympathies about your mom, too. Those of us who are content with things as they are still have change foisted upon us. We can't hide and are disinclined to running away. So, there it is. I am also watching as my 3 (born in 4 years) start leaving home and I am thrilled and heartbroken at the same time. It is exciting to see them stand on their own and practice what we've taught but knowing that they are gone and won't ever live with us again, well, it's pretty tough to bear. In other words...I am right there with you sister.

Live a Colorful Life said...

So sorry to hear about your mother. Always a hard change, especially if you have been close. My thoughts and prayers continue to come your way.

Your quilts are just so beautiful and inspiring. Thanks for that.

Julierose said...

So sorry about your Mom; very difficult...
I really love that pyramid quilt--so cheery--I wish you only good memories....Julierose

Shanna said...

So sorry to hear about your mom!! Life is sometimes very hard and not very kind. May the days ahead be filled with sweet things to help you through!

Erin @ Why Not Sew? Quilts said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. What a blessing you and your sister were to her, going to live with her. Hugs and prayers being sent your way!

Gill said...

So sorry to hear about your Mum, but so pleased you were able to spend time with her

kelly said...

i'm so sad for you, mary. it's wonderful that you got to spend so much time with her in her last months of life and i'm sure you will always cherish that time.

there aren't any words... your bloggy friends love you.

Lisa Leggett said...

I've been a reader of your blog for some time, but I've never commented until now. I'm so sorry for your loss, I knew these last months have been a struggle for you and your family. Change is hard for me as well, I understand. Take your time and lean into it gently and at your own pace, there's no right or wrong way... Sending love & light.

elizabeth said...

{{{{Hugs}}}}

notes of sincerity said...

Oh Mary. I am so sorry about your mom. Oh gosh, so sorry. I know this has to be quite a big change for you. Maybe the biggest. You are close to my heart and in my prayers as you approach a new day.
love, Trish

kaschmir said...

Dear Mary
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your sister and your family.

Amanda Rose said...

Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry for your loss and my prayers will be with you to help you adapt to this change and make the best out of what you have been dealt. Thanks for sharing the quilt too, It is really quite beautiful.

Amanda Rose
http://sewmuchtosay.blogspot.com

{Leila}Where the Orchids Grow said...

I am very sorry for your loss Mary! My thoughts are with you, hugs xx

Debbie said...

oh wow. Such life-impacting changes. Blessings as you deal with all the transitions....lovely quilt. I hope your quilting can comfort you just a teeny tiny bit.

Rosemary P. said...

Mary:

You have been in my thoughts every single day. I hope your mother did not suffer at the end. I know you and your sister made her departure so much easier for her. How lucky she was to have you with her till the end and in her own home. I wish all your hearts peace. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Sewn With Grace said...

Oh Mary, my prayers are with you today. I'm so sorry about your Mom. What a precious time this must have been for you to be with her and also very difficult at the same time. Then to have Molly move - more happy and sad. It feels like you've been wounded. Praying the Lord with fill that would with his love and his peace. Blessings!

Siobhán said...

Mary, you don't know me... I'm your stalker and don't comment as much as I should, lurking instead and heavy breathing at all your gorgeous quilt photos. I have been praying for you and your family and will continue to do so. I am so sorry about your mother. I know the pain of loss doesn't go away, that you just learn how to adjust to it always being there, but I hope that all of your wonderful memories of your mother will give you comfort. God bless.

**nicke... said...

xoxoxo. my heart is with you mary! i am so so sorry for your loss!

Molly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doris said...

My sympathies, dear Mary. I too do not deal well with change, and your comment on your Saturday nights during college? Well, we would have made great roomies--I would have chose that over partying any Saturday night!

Hugs to you, prayers for your family's journey, and a tip of the hat to your mother for raising up such a great family.

Molly said...

So sorry for the loss of your beloved mother. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

And I totally understand about not liking change. I have a small world and am working to redefine it lately. Wishing I could just turn around and go back and start the good times over.

Heather said...

I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I too am going through many life changes, some good and some not so good. Somehow the continuity of my quilting and fabric therapy helps me get through these days. Wishing you strength as you continue your life journey.

carol fun said...

So sorry for your loss! You did the right thing bringing her home - it was the best for all of you. I too have lost my parents and they are never far from my thoughts. Everyday something happens to remind me and those are comforting memories. It takes time to move forward, lots of time. Be good to yourself - you deserve it. Hugs -carol

Deb Robertson said...

Oh Molly :( sending {{hugs}}

Teje said...

Hi! I am so sorry to hear about your mom - you have had very difficult change in your life. How nice that you could have her at home those last weeks. I hope sewing and quilting helps you a little bit. I love your triangle quilt!
x Teje

MB in MI said...

Mary, I'm hoping the best memories of your Mom,and your special girls and hubby will make everyday easier to manage. Been through those changes too. I really like your quilting changes--hugs to you & yours.

Charlotte said...

I am so sorry to hear that your mum has passed away. Sending you loads of hugs from England xx

two hippos said...

Mary, I am so sorry to hear your mother died. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Ruthx

Little Miss Shabby said...

Oh Mary! I am so sorry to hear about your mom--I will keep your family in my prayers.

Christine M said...

Sorry to hear about your mother. Sending you a big hug.

Patchwork and Play said...

Your bloggy friends have left you wonderful inspiring words, far better than I could ever hope to say to you at this sad, sad time.
Your triangular pieces are coming together well, now that you have worked out a better way to tackle it!
And of course your pyramid quilt is luminous!

Char said...

So sorry to hear about your mom. I never expect a reply. I comment so you know I'm listening. Keeping your family in prayer.

Manda said...

So sorry to hear about your mum. It is certainly true that not all change is good. The triangles change worked well though.

Sarah@PingsAndNeedles said...

love. light. peace. xxx

stitchinpenny said...

Sorry to hear about your mother's passing, but I know the time you spent with her over the last 2 months was a precious gift that you will always treasure. I love both the quilts you have been working on.

Lindsey R. :: LRstitched said...

Mary, I am very sorry for the loss of your Mother. What a blessing for you and your sister to live and share the last 3 weeks with her.

Many prayers for you and your family as you go through this season of change.

Hugs, Lindsey

CitricSugar said...

Sorry about your mum. I'm wishing you peace, love and healing, and coping skills to handle the changes. Not all changes are for the better but they usually travel together: better and worse - so keep your eyes open.

You're in my prayers.

Barb said...

My sympathies on losing our mother. Mine also died of after a brain tumor. Quilting has given me much solace and friendship, I hope it will for you too.
xo
be kind to yourself

Cardygirl said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Mother...my thoughts are with you at this sad time. Change...loss, your childhood home and Molly's foray into her adult life. Big changes that will be challenging but the strength of the love you have had throughout your life will give you the courage to get through this.

Caro said...

Bless your heart. Condolences to you and your family's

Lucy @ Charm About You said...

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I really feel for you Mary. This post really hits me. I am just the same with change. I can't even express what I want to say to you, just know I'm thinking of you and sending my love x

O'Quilts said...

Thank you for sharing this sad change of events. Sending hugs from Charlotte, NC.

Laura said...

Sending love and prayers your way. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. And what a beautiful quilt!

Laura
xo

Cindy said...

There's no one like a mama. So sorry for your loss. I loved seeing your pyramid quilt. After seeing your progress, it's been on my list of quilts to do. I even have most of the fabrics picked out. Yours is gorgeous. You're an inspiration!

Nedra said...

So sorry to read about the loss of your sweet mother. No matter how old we get, we still need the love and comfort of our mothers. Change IS difficult, and yet I also know that healing can come. I pray you might find comfort during this next year especially.

O'faigh said...

Hello Mary, I too visit your blog...but have not commented...Mary you have my thoughts and prayers ...my deepest sympathy for the loss of your Mum...as I write these words I have tears pouring down my face.....grief is such a hard emotion....take care Warm Regards, O'faigh

Ginette said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers as you deal with all of these changes. I hope you will be able to find some solace in your quilting... I know it has helped me through some rough times. Hugs.

Wendy said...

So sorry to hear of your mothers passing. May God give you strength and peace for the changes you are experiencing. My prayers for you and your family will continue to go up.

Liz Horton said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. I know words cannot make it better, but I hope you know that you are not alone.

roccagal said...

My deepest sympathies, Mary. Know that there are lots of friends who are praying for you and your family at this difficult time.

Kari said...

So sorry about the passing of your mother. What a tough thing to happen. I hope your many good memories get you through.

diane said...

You and your family have been on my prayer list ever since I heard about your mom. You have my deepest sympathy and I ache for your loss. It sounds like you are blessed with a wonderful family to bring you comfort in the sad days ahead. xoxo

Rachaeldaisy said...

You have been in my thoughts so much through this sad time. ts so lovely to hear you talk of your family with such love. That's something that won't ever change. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

Andrea said...

Maria much love for you and your family.

Marit said...

Sad to hear about your mother. Sending love and hugs. Your quilt is beautiful. Thank you for sharing the love for your family and the love for quilting with us.

Lorraine said...

So sorry to hear about your Mum .
She was really lucky to have you as a daughter :)
Love the quilt
xxx

karen608 said...

So sorry to hear about your loss. Changes are so hard. I'm a stick in the mud sort.

selfsewn said...

Hi Mary been thinking about you and checking your blog daily!
Sounds like you've had a wonderful life, I'm sure like you, Molly will be in and out of your house still.
Sometimes a change is as good as a rest, whatever that means.

ps I've started a new quilt, on the machine!!

Clare

Julie said...

Oh, mary, I have thought a bought you and all you have been dealing with. I am glad you were able to spend that time with your mom... I know she was a wonderful woman because she raised you... And you are fabulous! I don't look forward to that change in my life one day, but trust that God and friends will get me through. So, glad you had your family around to help and support each other.
Your quilts are lovely... As always! :) I really love the pyramid quilt.
Hope to see you soon!

ELNM said...

My sympathy on your mother's death. You're in my prayers.

Hitch and Thread said...

So sorry to hear about your Mum. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Archie the wonder dog said...

I'm so sorry to hear the sad news about your mam...you're all in my thoughts, take care xxx

Jenny said...

so sorry mary. change is never easy. big hug...

Linda said...

So sorry for your loss. I dread the day my mother will be gone. I don't like it when she is gone and I can't talk to her everyday. Especially if it is a time when My sisters...3...are also gone. I also don't like change. As I get older I try to remember that change is good, but I have a hard time remembering that. Love your tutorial today. Take care.

Sew Create It - Jane said...

Sending you hugs...I will keep you and your family in my thoughts at this difficult time.

Kris from DukeSaysSewWhat said...

Mary I am very sorry to read this news. What a difficult time and I am heavy hearted for your loss! I hope you can find peace in those happy memories. Sending you love and a big hug!

Coco said...

Take your time and be good to yourself to get through this changes.
Hugs and love from Raleigh, NC

Molly said...

So sorry for your loss. Change is hard, especially the loss of your mother. My mom's been gone for 15 years now. I was having a long hard day yesterday, it was her birthday. Funny, I got out some of her unfinished quilt blocks this week, as a way to feel remembrance, and finished them. They look very much like the triangles you are working on. You and your sister were so right to bring her home and take care of her. I'm sure it meant the world to her.

Handmade by Joan said...

So sorry for your loss. Sounds like she was a wonderful mom and friend.

PamKittyMorning said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. xo

Karen said...

I am sorry to hear about your loss. So glad you had the chance to spend that time with your Mum. How special.

Kylie said...

Dear Mary,
I am so sorry to hear you have lost your Mum. That is a change that must be so hard to bear. Thinking of you. x

Nicky said...

Sorry Mary I haven't been keeping up! Really sad abut your lovely mum - but what a testimony to how you all felt about her.

Change is a pain but without it we don't get the even better stuff!

Amy said...

I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom. My mom has been gone 7 years and I miss her every day.
Like you, I lived at home until I was 24 and got married. I also couldn't move to college. lol. Guess I'm a homebody.
Take good care of yourself.

Jessica said...

so sorry to hear about your mom. thinking of you.

Charlotte said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, my thoughts are with you xxx

Leanne said...

I am so glad you were able to bring your mom home and have the time with her and your sister in her own home. Such a wonderful thing you did for her and all of you. It is so hard to lose a parent, and you are right about all the changes that come with that. Be kind to yourself and you have my thoughts and best wishes as you go. I love your quilts, and it is lovely that you were able to sew a bit through all that.

Leanne said...

I am so glad you were able to bring your mom home and have the time with her and your sister in her own home. Such a wonderful thing you did for her and all of you. It is so hard to lose a parent, and you are right about all the changes that come with that. Be kind to yourself and you have my thoughts and best wishes as you go. I love your quilts, and it is lovely that you were able to sew a bit through all that.

HasieB said...

Such a beautifully written reflection on the pain life brings to each of us in our time. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that I am thinking kind thoughts of you and praying for you to hold on to the best memories of your time with your mom and family.

Carolyn said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, Mary. I'm glad you have so many wonderful memories with her.

2e6992bc-a86b-11e0-8ce6-000bcdcb8a73 said...

I was so sorry to hear about your Mum. I lost my Mum 3 years ago and I still think 'I must tell my Mum that' almost everyday. Thinking of you in Scotland

Pinkadot Quilts said...

I am sorry to hear about your mom. How wonderful that you got to spend her last days with her.

Joanne Lavallee said...

I am so sorry to hear about your MOM. I lost mine several years ago and still miss her everyday. I have a little advice for you, losing your Mom is a huge thing! Please just be patient and treat yourself well, it is a difficult path learning to live with out her. Accept who you are becoming and be easy on yourself. This is a change that none of us want to come, inevitable as it is. Take care and take heart, you will be fine.